(Originally posted Jan 31st 2010)
You guys generally seem to enjoy the tales of wonder and mischief I can pull out of my worktime. That's been established. I love tellin' them to you, because people relate. Even if you've never waitressed, you've eaten at a restaurant at one time or the other. And if you have waitressed, then, well, you're right there along with me.
WEELLLLL, I had to sign a very interesting piece of paper yesterday at job-security gunpoint. Sign or go home, i believe is how that all worked, no, this one's a doozy. It's got people flustered all sorts of ways up and down, paranoid beyond belief, and asking the same sort of questions the people from the 1960's did. It's like 'loose lips sink ships' all over again. I asked for a copy of the form, and the angry, bolded letters on the top of this thing pretty much sum it up.
"To protect Company Information and good will, please be advised that no associate is authorized to communicate to the public regarding any matter that relates in any manner to SNS" (for the sake of keeping my job, we'll be going by SNS)
AND FURTHERMORE. *reads off the sheet like an old bookie*
- "Consistant with the Company's internet use and blogging policies, no associate is authorized to use a Blog, Chat Room, Facebook, or any other similar forum to communicate, dicuss, display, or identify any business information of SNS"
What this pretty much means is that I cannot, legally, any longer tell you anything. My crappy tables? Betch, that's business information! I cannot, even in conversation here, or facebook, or anything with tagging print, go "SNS sucks." Infringing on the first amendment, you say? Well, I say that too. So does the sheet:
"The provisions in this policy should not be interpreted to restrict or interfere with any associates federal or state labor laws, any applicable rights under the First Amendment to the United States Consitution, or equivilent state law rights, or any whistleblower protections under federal or state law"
You have to wonder two things, two, speculatory, possibly true or untrue things; 1. why would a company suddenly restrict ALL communication in a time of poor economic times, and 2. Why would they put such a statement in there, like they're aware that they're FUCKING INFRINGING ON THE DAMN RIGHTS. *bead of sweat*
SNS inhales. It in inhales with a magnitude that rivals incliment weather. It has a fontanelle on it's compulsory logic that is....baffling. Let's read on!
-"No associate is authorized to make any statement or behave in any manner that negetively reflects upon our Company as prohibited by the 'personal contract' clause in our Restaurant Associate Handbook."
It's like communist russia all over again. Now for the juicy part:
"Any violation of this "Public Communications About SNS Matters" policy will lead to dicipline up to and including termination of your at-will employment, without prior warning."
Faantastic. The best parts are what aren't on the document, that I was instructed to do, which was--
Take down anything you have that says anything about SNS, don't put it in print in any way, There is a person searching through all networking sites, LOOKING for this. That's right. LOOKING FOR GUFF ABOUT SNS, and linking it back to the employee and having them fired. This, apparently, has already been happening...
THERE IS A PERSON, SITTING AT A COMPUTER, LOOKING FOR THIS SHIT. --- and that's why when I signed my name at the bottom of that document, I also put "seriously?"
What makes this whole thing maddening is that it's almost exactly like what my previous journal was about, how someone makes a rediculous demand, and everyone goes "OH,OKAY" *cave* So the heresay risen by myself was limited to a few other people, though most people had the same sort of understanding that this whole sheet was pure BS. I did sign the sheet too, i had to. Obviously you can see how far my commitment went. Amazing, awesome, non-annoying, non-completely shit job that it is.
So, I can't mention the SNS word. If anyone wants to know it, get the info from another or look down another inch and a half. What someone suggested to me, which I think is a FAAABULOUS idea, is that since they're looking for this rebellioius sort of talk from current employees, having the rebellious talk come from a sea of patrons...well... that'd just throw a major spoke in the whole witchhunt, wouldn't it.
Something a fellow classmate of mine put, that illustrates the point, AND I QUOTE GODDAMMIT, "Steak N Shake sucks. It smells like old grease and dirty hair. The wait staff are tortured by their stupid outfits and bad customers. It's not worth the hype, and I really hope they all go out of business. Then we could get something of a higher quality, like a Sonic. Due to Steak and Shakes new contracts that force... their employees to be mum about it's suckitude, I'm having some fun as a "customer" (yeah right)."
*grins* Ya dig?
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